Sunday, August 14, 2011

 

Aero-Dhaba

 

 

Dear Patrons,

Welcome to the Aero Dhaba, a unique culinary experience developed for travelers (and accompanying friends and family).

You may have heard of 'Dhabas' on highways all across India. Aero- dhabas is the first chain of dhabas established at the Airport premises. Had regulation permitted, we would have liked to be right besides the runway. However, such liberties sadly not permitted even in our democratic country, you can find us right outside the terminal.

Note that I say, it is a chain- We are so confident of the success of our concept that we have simultaneously opened shop at Nagpur (our flagship restaurant), Kanpur (very popular) and Ahmadabad. We also have a special branch at Mumbai, mainly for export of frozen meat (processed at world's largest slum based Enterprise Dharavi (another unique concept) to Europe. This is self loaded live mostly in cargo holds and arrives frozen ready.   

Menu Card:  

Note to our customers:

-         Due to the nature of our butchery, all our meat is 'Zatka'; No Halal meat available. We regret this inconvenience, but it is more than made up for in the freshness of meat we serve

-         We are very proud of our culinary creations. The name of the dish is accompanied by a short history/background on how each dish is created and garnished.

 

A.    Nagpuri ghost ka keema

This is an extremely popular dish, available almost on a daily basis at our Nagpur branch. Wild boars, specially trained by our experienced ATC staff, cross the runway just as the aircrafts are landing. These 'Jehadi' wild boars, as our staff likes to classify them, normally aim for the front landing gears to sacrifice themselves. As soon as the aircraft passes over safely (god is great, we have never had any crash), our staff scoots to the runway with special equipment to scrap the meat off the runway. (You may recall this equipment was donated to us to scrap the tire rubber marks off the runway).  We challenge our patrons to find such a unique dish, even in famous game meat restaurants of Africa. Our German guests love it.   

Self garnished with smell of freshly burned rubber from imported Dunlop aircraft tyres, you will love it.

B.     Raan-e-Kanpuri

Our take on Raan-e-Sikandari, the famous dish you may have seen on some other menus. Now sample, a version you are unlikely to forget soon- Prepared from jungle fresh cuts of wild Neel Gai that roam our premises, it is unlikely to disappoint you. Note that the entire Raan is served as a single large portion for a family meal, because the Airport is served only by smaller ATR make of aircrafts that maim the animal, without causing any damage to the main edible portion.

C.     Kebab-Kukkura ke (KKK in short)

An extremely popular dish amongst our visiting patrons from Korea, China and Vietnam, this is a seasonal creation from street dog meat. We must clarify that unlike on the roads of major Indian cities; our dog meat is processed in extremely hygienic runways, swept clear of 'FOD' every 6-8 hours.  

D.    Rodent –do-pahiya ( aero dhaba's take on chicken-do-pyaza)

Not to be mistaken with the do-pahiya as in the 2-wheeler, this refers to the double bogie of the rear landing gear. So called because assorted field rodents that are used for this dish, have a special preference for the rear landing gear when making the extreme sacrifice. This delectable dish finds particular favor in Eastern UP and Bihar.

 

E.     Assorted Fowl from our Aviary

What can be said about this- it is the finest in culinary history of Indian Aviation with a long tradition. Every Airport offers a fine variety and selection in every possible season. Even visiting migratory fowl are not spared. Notably, this is offered to the customers taste in 2 different preparations- A- la- flambé or just plane-hit.  The a-la flambé preparation is obviously garnished with A1 Aviation turbine fuel as the bird in question passes through the engine. Please note that this an extremely difficult dish to prepare, with considerable skill required for the flambé version. Aviation fuel is highly inflammable and roasting the tender bird meat is a delicate art that requires constant practice.

Note to our customers: Since the dish is obviously garnished with ATF, we cannot guarantee the price. Price is subject to change without notice. Please check with your waiter before ordering it.

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Author's note: Grotesque as this article may read, it is intended this way as a protest against lack of basic Aviation safety at our Airports that is shameful. Aside from being ' the killing fields' for so many animals, that in itself is cruel and worthy of being taken up as a cause.

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