Aero-Dhaba

 

 

Dear Patrons,

Welcome to the Aero Dhaba, a unique culinary experience developed for travelers (and accompanying friends and family).

You may have heard of 'Dhabas' on highways all across India. Aero- dhabas is the first chain of dhabas established at the Airport premises. Had regulation permitted, we would have liked to be right besides the runway. However, such liberties sadly not permitted even in our democratic country, you can find us right outside the terminal.

Note that I say, it is a chain- We are so confident of the success of our concept that we have simultaneously opened shop at Nagpur (our flagship restaurant), Kanpur (very popular) and Ahmadabad. We also have a special branch at Mumbai, mainly for export of frozen meat (processed at world's largest slum based Enterprise Dharavi (another unique concept) to Europe. This is self loaded live mostly in cargo holds and arrives frozen ready.   

Menu Card:  

Note to our customers:

-         Due to the nature of our butchery, all our meat is 'Zatka'; No Halal meat available. We regret this inconvenience, but it is more than made up for in the freshness of meat we serve

-         We are very proud of our culinary creations. The name of the dish is accompanied by a short history/background on how each dish is created and garnished.

 

A.    Nagpuri ghost ka keema

This is an extremely popular dish, available almost on a daily basis at our Nagpur branch. Wild boars, specially trained by our experienced ATC staff, cross the runway just as the aircrafts are landing. These 'Jehadi' wild boars, as our staff likes to classify them, normally aim for the front landing gears to sacrifice themselves. As soon as the aircraft passes over safely (god is great, we have never had any crash), our staff scoots to the runway with special equipment to scrap the meat off the runway. (You may recall this equipment was donated to us to scrap the tire rubber marks off the runway).  We challenge our patrons to find such a unique dish, even in famous game meat restaurants of Africa. Our German guests love it.   

Self garnished with smell of freshly burned rubber from imported Dunlop aircraft tyres, you will love it.

B.     Raan-e-Kanpuri

Our take on Raan-e-Sikandari, the famous dish you may have seen on some other menus. Now sample, a version you are unlikely to forget soon- Prepared from jungle fresh cuts of wild Neel Gai that roam our premises, it is unlikely to disappoint you. Note that the entire Raan is served as a single large portion for a family meal, because the Airport is served only by smaller ATR make of aircrafts that maim the animal, without causing any damage to the main edible portion.

C.     Kebab-Kukkura ke (KKK in short)

An extremely popular dish amongst our visiting patrons from Korea, China and Vietnam, this is a seasonal creation from street dog meat. We must clarify that unlike on the roads of major Indian cities; our dog meat is processed in extremely hygienic runways, swept clear of 'FOD' every 6-8 hours.  

D.    Rodent –do-pahiya ( aero dhaba's take on chicken-do-pyaza)

Not to be mistaken with the do-pahiya as in the 2-wheeler, this refers to the double bogie of the rear landing gear. So called because assorted field rodents that are used for this dish, have a special preference for the rear landing gear when making the extreme sacrifice. This delectable dish finds particular favor in Eastern UP and Bihar.

 

E.     Assorted Fowl from our Aviary

What can be said about this- it is the finest in culinary history of Indian Aviation with a long tradition. Every Airport offers a fine variety and selection in every possible season. Even visiting migratory fowl are not spared. Notably, this is offered to the customers taste in 2 different preparations- A- la- flambé or just plane-hit.  The a-la flambé preparation is obviously garnished with A1 Aviation turbine fuel as the bird in question passes through the engine. Please note that this an extremely difficult dish to prepare, with considerable skill required for the flambé version. Aviation fuel is highly inflammable and roasting the tender bird meat is a delicate art that requires constant practice.

Note to our customers: Since the dish is obviously garnished with ATF, we cannot guarantee the price. Price is subject to change without notice. Please check with your waiter before ordering it.

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Author's note: Grotesque as this article may read, it is intended this way as a protest against lack of basic Aviation safety at our Airports that is shameful. Aside from being ' the killing fields' for so many animals, that in itself is cruel and worthy of being taken up as a cause.

 

Invictus

 

 

Anyone can start a revolution. It takes greatness to stop one.  

"…..I'm thinking about how you spend 30 years in a tiny cell, but come out ready to forgive the people who put you there…."

-           From the movie Invictus

Oct 02, 1992: The only cinema hall at Mbabane, the pretty hill capital of Swaziland, a country of less than 1 million people, played Richard Attenborough's GANDHI the whole day, all 4 shows.  It didn't quite made sense to a teenager, why Gandhi should be an important subject in a nation 8500 miles away from India. A vast ocean separated the 2 continents of Africa and India, and my passport read – 'not valid for entry into South Africa', but there was an unexplained link between the destinies of these nations.

Later that evening, my father had invited all his office mates for an evening together at a local Pizza restaurant. It was bitterly cold outside, so diners were all huddled together around a large rectangular table that hosted our entire group. There were other diners on the single corner tables. The evening discussions were centered on the ongoing Barcelona Olympics and the medal tally. Invariably, the discussions moved to how South Africa- allowed back into the games for the first time since the Apartheid era, was performing. I seem to remember that I said something to the effect that South Africa's performance was disappointing and even Kenya were doing better in the medal tally.

"…But it is still better than India.. at least we are assured of a medal.."

 I heard a very sharp retort coming from behind me. Completely shocked from someone unexpectedly interrupting our conversation, I looked back to see a straight-faced white man staring at me and from what it seemed like, very eager to take the debate further. My father's Swazi colleague signaled to me to ignore the man and we all got back to concentrating on the pizza as if nothing had happened. Again, I did not quite understand, what made the white man take such grave offence.

A few weeks later, I was strolling down the local Swaziland mall, wearing a black color t-shirt with a large red color Nazi Swastika on it. Sold on Bangalore street corners, Hitler and Nazi symbols, while poorly understood, were sure to add to a teenager's cool quotient ratings. As I crossed the street corner, I saw a large black man, presumably Zulu, twice my height and width, coming towards me. He was looking straight at me and as he came closer and closer, I could sense, that we were not just crossing each other on the street, instead he was coming at me. No evasive action was possible, and before I knew, I sensed being picked up into the air with large blood-shot eyes in my face. The man could perhaps sense my fear because he said nothing and put me back down on the ground. I was shivering by now. He then pointed to the red sign on my t-shirt telling me if I were smart, I would not wear that t-shirt again and that he was telling me this for my own good.  Completely hysterical and confused I ran back home and narrated the incident to my mother, who called my father at office. It was only later, that we learnt that AWB, the right wing, heavily armed and very often militant, Afrikaners Party used a version of Swastika as their symbol.

The early 90's were extraordinary times in South Africa and as a teenager one couldn't have learnt there significance until much later.

 12 June, 1998: The blue red and white Filipino flag with a golden sun slowly went up the pole as tears filled the eyes of my office colleagues who watched the ceremony to commemorate 100 years of freedom. The birth of a free nation is always a solemn moment and its celebration even more so. I stood witness too as the Filipino national anthem played. At my graduate school, our dean quoted Gandhi, and related the Filipino freedom struggle to his thoughts. While the Filipino Freedom struggle is replete with violence, Gandhi's thoughts, he said, were relevant to them. While no longer a teenager, one wondered why nations that won their freedom through an armed struggle still regarded Gandhi's thought as central to their manifestos.

12 December, 2009:   I attended a special screening of Invictus, a movie that describes true events before and during the South Africa of 1995. Apartheid is long since dead, at least in the law, if not completely in the spirit just yet, for vestiges of an evil, once created, die slow and even in dying leave behind relics that threaten to manifest themselves all over again in newer forms.

In South Africa of today for instance, it appears that, Indian, (or any other community) is not a race nor a nationality, not even a mistaken identity christened by an explorer. It is a category, for all people must be categorized for their rights to be determined and apportioned. One morning, a 5 year old, my son, posed to me a question as to whether he is Indian. Isn't it odd for a toddler to be that aware of his category at such a young age?  

In their naivety governments, not just here in South Africa, still believe they can somehow go back in time and reverse the excesses of the past. And how? By doing exactly that, what was deemed unfair and unjust even back then, except, this time to a different category of people.  It is an excellent example of how in trying to correct the past, we can't embrace the future.

The laws of physics govern that every action must have an equal reaction; that a pendulum, once swung to an extreme, must swing back to the other, opposite extreme. Those are irrefutable laws of our physical world.

It is exactly in this context that Gandhi's thoughts but what is even more so- Mandela's actions, which came much later in time, define true leadership. Almost anyone can start a revolution when the conditions are right. Make a few inflammatory speeches, cobble together a band of followers and if a cause is deemed worthy, people will sacrifice themselves. Infact, you can buy ready, custom made revolutions off the shelf today with help from some big brother nations. 

Both Mandela and Gandhi, however, managed to STOP a revolution. That is, stopped a revolution going the wrong way. Gandhi stopped Civil disobedience movement when it turned violent. Mandela stopped his people from seeking revenge when Apartheid was demolished. He taught them reconciliation and forgiveness. Both stopped the pendulum midway, refusing to be governed by Newtonian laws. They refused to be subdued by popular sentiments of their own people, instead showing them the righteous path. That takes a lot of courage. They knew it would meet resistant from their own, most loyal supporters but will eventually result in the greater good.

Very few men have achieved this.